Breaking News: Dateline: South Camp, MFO 26June2008
Members of the Pentagon Staff, in response to the outrageous (really outrageous) attack on Sergeant Burrows (A Troop) by the now deceased “Petey”, have developed and deployed a new countermeasure in the fight against aquatic threats at Herb’s Beach. The SRS system now in place will protect our soldiers during all phases of Water Survival Training. This new, highly sophisticated system will make water sports safer and more enjoyable for all. Fast, simple deployment of the system pictured to the right will allow our lifeguards to accurately detect any predatory creature well before it attacks. The lifeguards simply place the bait in the center of the ring and when it goes missing, they sound the alarm to clear the water.
“Many of our soldiers here will benefit from this new advance in technology,” says a high ranking member of the MFO staff.
According to the Lifeguard Staff, “The SRS will remain in place near the 4th bouy, in order to ensure the safety of our soldiers.” When asked if there was any concrete data that proved the system’s effectiveness, a Cavalry First Sergeant stated, “Who cares? It works, or it doesn’t. Either way, it gets a lot more peaceful around here.”
Further tests will be conducted by activating the system at night and by adding large buckets of chum to the immediate area around the system.
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