"Petey" Attacks at Herb's Beach

During water safety training for the month of June, there was a tragic incident.  While trying to “dead-man-float”, Sgt Burrows of Troop A was viciously attacked by “Petey” the Shark.  Petey was able to clamp down on Burrows midsection and wrestle him under the water.  Fighting for his life, while the sting-rays and eels danced around his head, Burrows was able to kick Petey in the pancreas and force his mouth open.  Burrows quickly extricated himself from the massive jaws of the silver-tipped shark and begin to swim away.  Dazed from this mighty blow, but unwilling to allow his lunch to slip away, Petey countered with a massive tail swipe to Burrow’s cranium.  The powerful tail grazed Burrow’s noggin and left the soldier dis-oriented and floundering inthe break at Herb’s Beach.  After gaining his composure, Burrows quickly sprang on top of the water and proceeded to sprint to the beach on top of the water.  Screaming like a little girl, Burrows escaped with only minor injuries.  Petey was not so lucky!!  The shark had sustained massive internal hemorrhaging and quickly succumbed to his lack of blood.  He was dragged to shore by our gallant lifeguard crew, picked up by our MDF staff, and without a second thought, was processed and turned into a main course for our financially strapped Mess Hall.  The real tragedy of the incident was that now Petey’s children are fatherless and will have to let their mother teach them to hunt for food.  Please help them by swimming more at the beach and volunteering for chum duty!!   - Spc Snyder